And So Motherhood Begins

For me, postpartum was the most challenging.  I have to be mentally prepared for things with a very small window of openness in case it doesn’t all work out.  I never missed my monthly check ups, I asked questions; I read all the books and visited websites out there with information about pregnancy.  I even attended Lamaze classes.  Little did I know, I was only preparing myself for pregnancy and birth.  I was rudely awakened when I returned home with my daughter.  She was a gassy child and she seemed to want to be with me constantly.  I was always hungry, wasn’t sure that I was producing enough milk (she refused the bottle), I was sleep deprived and if I managed to get a shower by 1:00 p.m, it was a miracle!  I hoped that she would grow out of the clinginess soon, as I am not touchy feely, but this child felt like she was joint at my hip, or boob rather.  During this season, I was living at home with my parents and was sure that I would get all the help needed.  I soon realised that I did get help but not the support that I truly needed.  I wondered if I was being ungrateful but as I became more reflective I noticed that I was prepared for pregnancy but not postpartum.  It was a very experiential journey which felt mostly like a whirlwind of unsureties, many internal questions and unfulfilled expectations.  

And So Motherhood Begins

Adding to the insanity, was planning my wedding and transitioning to our new home in a shorter than expected timeline of nine months!  Going on our honeymoon helped our daughter to finally transition to the bottle.  She still favoured breastfeeding, and was a picky eater…hardly eating any real food.  Despite still feeling depleted, I decided to host my daughter’s first birthday party.  It was three months after our wedding.  Needless to say, it was all a blur.  

About a month after the party, I found out that I was expecting!  I was so devastated.  I couldn’t imagine life being twice as hard as it currently was!  I wasn’t excited…we were planning on having a second child conceived around this time next year; AND I had just begun my Social Work internship!  I was so not looking forward to having two under two.  

During this time, we shared the news with our daughter.  She was so happy to be a big sister.  The transition went surprisingly smoother than expected.  My daughter was very helpful and my son was a more peaceful baby.  My husband took time off from work and ensured I got rest.  By the time my son was about four months old, I realised I was beginning to almost feel like myself again.  On reflection, my biggest challenge was postpartum preparation.  Even though a lot was happening when I discovered that I was expecting a second time, I was able to manage the pregnancy and postpartum well.  I knew what I needed to be better supported.  I noticed that by my daughter’s second year, I was feeling much better.  Being a mother is a whole job, so I wouldn't deny that I am often tired, but I didn’t feel as depleted and run down as I did the first time around.  

Your overall well-being is paramount.  Let me help you simplify your postpartum journey, teaching you the skills to manage this very stressful season of your life.  My hope for you is that you are better prepared than I was for postpartum in addition to navigating your mental health throughout your motherhood journey.

Your Mum Coach,

Lucinda.